#002 Julie Lythcott-Haims on How to Raise an Adult
When is it appropriate to step in and help your college-aged kid talk to their professor, fill out a form, nail a job interview, or even cut their own meat? Julie Lythcott Haims, a former dean of freshman students at Stanford University and New York Times critically acclaimed and best-selling author of “How to Raise an Adult,” joins the podcast to talk about raising our kids to take care of themselves by using good judgment and empowering them to make their own decisions.
She believes many students are applying to too many colleges and gives her insight into the problems that “highly rejective” and other colleges are having as a result of how parents are watching their kids using the blue dot in many of the apps that tell you exactly where your teen is at any time.
Julie reveals the issues that arise when parents are afraid to let their children learn by failing and what the metrics of over-parenting are. You will be talked out of the trap that undermines your kid’s skill development. She says that chores and love are the best things you can teach your kids and you should see and accept them for who they are instead of who you think your child should be.
An overview of this episode
The premise of How to Raise an Adult
(4:46) Her experience at Stanford & her reaction
(7:29) Issues of safety and how it relates to parenting
(9:45) What watching your teen in an app won’t insure
(11:52) How chores matter and can foster raising adults
(13:22) The 4 parenting styles
(16:32) Advice to parents on how to help your teen find their own way to the right college
(20:52) The power of chores and love in your parenting
Links mentioned in this episode
Julie’s Social Media handle everywhere: jlythcotthaims