#203 Surviving Winter Break with Family: Andrea Malkin Brenner on Staying Connected

Flourish Coaching

Dec 2, 2025

In this episode, Lisa and Andrea discuss:

Navigating family dynamics when college students return home for holidays and extended breaks
Balancing student independence with household expectations during time at home
Communicating effectively with teens and college students to reduce conflict around schedules, curfews, and responsibilities
Supporting student identity development and deeper conversations during the transition home

Key Takeaways:

Parents should set expectations early—before the student comes home—about rest needs, schedules, and non-negotiable family commitments.
Curfew conversations work best when approached collaboratively, using “horizontal parenting” to negotiate reasonable times and communication.
Students may return with new beliefs, identities, and peer relationships, so families should create space for deeper conversations and respond with curiosity rather than judgment.
Parents should avoid tasks like laundry or over-caretaking, as these can unintentionally undermine the student’s developing independence.

“Colleges are ready to welcome messy, unfinished, unbaked, totally underbaked students. And those first couple of years are about figuring out who they are.” – Andrea Malkin Brenner

About Andrea Malkin Brenner:

Dr. Andrea Malkin Brenner is the President of AMBrenner, LLC and Founder of the Talking College™ brand, a speaker and college transition educator with 25 years as a “college insider,” co-author of How to College: What to Know Before You Go (and When You’re There)—now a mandatory common reads book—and creator of the Talking College™ card decks; she was a sociology professor and first-year administrator at American University for 25 years, serving as Faculty Director of AU’s University College program and creator and Director of the university’s mandatory first-year experience program, has received multiple awards for undergraduate teaching and program design, was a faculty fellow at the University of California National Center for Free Speech and Civic Engagement, and holds a BA from Brandeis University, an MA from Boston College, and a PhD from American University.

Episode References:

Use Andrea’s Talking College Cards to spark meaningful family conversations about college transitions: https://www.ambrenner.com/shop
Subscribe to Lisa’s newsletter for weekly tips to connect with your teen or young adult: flourishcoachingco.com/newsletter

Get Lisa’s Free on-demand video: How-to guide for your teen to choose the right major, college, & career…(without painting themselves into a corner, missing crucial deadlines, or risking choices you both regret).

flourishcoachingco.com/video

Connect with Andrea:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreamalkinbrenner/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ambrennerllc

Website: https://www.ambrenner.com/ & https://talkingcollege.com/

Book: How to College: What to Know Before You Go (and When You’re There) by Andrea Malkin Brenner and Lara Hope Schwartz: https://www.amazon.com/How-College-Before-Youre-There/dp/1250225183

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrea-malkin-brenner-phd-135b43178\

Email: andreamalkinbrenner@gmail.com